How To Love The Unlovable

Loving others, even when it’s hard.


Love is something that is very lacking in our world. If we disagree about anything, we are instant enemies. If a friend or family member behaves in a way that we wouldn’t, we immediately lose all of our respect for that person, and sometimes we cut them out of our lives!

Now, I am not talking about the sin in these situations that may lead to not loving. I am talking about our reactions. Specifically, how are reactions are not showing love.

Just because we disagree with someone, doesn’t mean we can’t love them!

Crazy idea, right? Well, not so much! Jesus disagreed with the lifestyle of the woman at the well who had 5 different husbands, and was living with a man who wasn’t her husband. Jesus disagreed with Zacchaeus the tax collector who was stealing money from people. Jesus disagreed with Martha’s hurried way of living.

But, all these people were changed by Jesus! They left their sinful lifestyle in exchange for Jesus’s living water. Why did they do this? Because Jesus loved them even in their sin.

John 317

Jesus didn’t judge or rule them out of His life just because they were doing something He didn’t agree with. Jesus showed them love when no one else would! That is what drew people to Him. As believers, we are called to live like Jesus did. This includes the way He loved.

Now, let’s get something straight about love. Love is not the butterflies in our stomach we feel when we see someone attractive. Love is not googly-eyed or something that just “happens.” Love isn’t something that you have no control over.

Love is a choice!

Love is respecting the other person, even when you disagree with them. Love is showing kindness that is not dependent on their actions or behavior. Love is choosing the other person over yourself. That’s what love is. And that is just a glimpse of how Jesus loves all of us.

Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Are you a friend that loves people no matter what? Do you stick with people through adversity or confrontation? Do you fight for the other person?

That is the type of love that God calls us to show. This is how we stand out from the world. When everyone is picking sides and pitting themselves against each other, God calls us to show them a better way through love.

John 1335

I know that some people are difficult to love. I have experienced that first hand. But we are still to love them. The greatest commandment is to love God. The second greatest is to love other people! (Matthew 22:36-40) It doesn’t specify their situation, their political beliefs, their tendency to a certain type of sin. It just says to love.

So, how are we to love the unlovable?


  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Understanding
  • Selflessness
  • Without Pride
  • Without Being Rude
  • Without Keeping Score


This may still be a difficult task to do. But when you are struggling to love someone, first remember that God loved you enough to sacrifice His Son for you. Then, His Son loved you enough to die for you. Second, pray. God will give you the strength and courage you need to love a difficult person. Those are exactly the type of people who need God’s love!

Be the one to point them to God through love!

No one will ever come to Christ through a message of hate. Our world cannot change without people coming to know Christ. Therefore, do your best to love others for God.

What is one thing you wish people realized about love? Let’s chat in the comments!

Author: Alysha

Hi, I'm Alysha! I'm a young Christian woman who has a chronic illness called POT Syndrome. This makes me rely on God for everything! He has brought essential oils into my life, which have empowered me to live a much fuller life! Now, I am on a mission to empower others!

4 thoughts on “How To Love The Unlovable”

  1. I’m doing a series at my blog on the 10 Unfair Realities in Marriage with loving a spouse who does not love back to be next week’s topic, so I was intrigued by your post today, Alysha! I love your thoughts here and agree wholeheartedly. It’s never an easy path, but following Christ means carrying our cross like He did–with love and sacrifice all along the way. Thanks so much and I’ll be pinning this, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your love! I think that it is kind of ironic that the greatest commandment is about love, and that is one that everyone struggles with.


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